My mum, who knows me really well, looked at my shocked face and made a quick laugh, responding that I didn’t need that. I thought that it was over, silly me, the woman insisted another time: “Not but seriously, it would be good for him to meet a girl from his hometown”

The problem is not just that people feel the enough confidence to throw these comments, but that they are pre-assuming our sexuality, implying that it is going to be “weird” if we are out their norm. Also for us, is kind of alarming, because I have been living like an open lesbian during 7 years, and I found myself still in this type of situations that I though I was not gonna have to experience again. What I did not now, is that I will be ‘outing’ myself every time I met someone new, because my heterosexuality is goig to be assumed.

Even if we are surrounded by people of our community, or engage in cultural movements where we feel completly secure, we can not forget that the norm of this world is the cisheterosexuality, we are placed in the diaspora, and to change that we need two things: time and will.

This does not mean that we have to stand idly by and do nothing. First things first, we have to de heard. Conquering spaces to break whit the norm is a key aspect. It is time to shatter the confort this people live in. We are here, we are Queer and we riot.

I cannot clearly remember when was the first time I heard the term ‘gender perspective’. I think it was in high school, just a year before entering college when my english teacher was asking how many of us had read a book with a female protagonist in the past year. In that moment I felt a click in my head, and from that point on I have been obligated (not that I do not want to, I just cannot help) to analyse everything I consume from a gender perspective, and how this realities represent women.

From films to books, and even to the music I listen to every day, I found myself always thinking about who made the product I am consuming, and how it is representing us, women. It is not a secret that women's voices have been silenced since decades ago, and as we were starting to feel like we had place (Barbie, TÀR, Anatomy of a Fall) I am worried again that the reality is changing back.

A new wave of media that are selling some products as only-women-consumers has popped up. Why is Barbie a movie which only woman would emphatise with, but The Brutalist is a ‘masterpiece’ that everyone should see? (even if this last one does not even pass the Bechdel test) The answer is simple; we are the subaltern, and as so, we are not able to speak. We are placed like the Other, and our stories only matter if they are exploided through the male gaze. Mona Lisa Smile, Anora and Notes on a Scandal are the main examples I can think about right now. But do not get me wrong, I am not saying that you, as a women, can not enjoy this films; I am the first one to start crying when Julia Roberts does the empowerment speech in front on her students.

My aim is just to be aware of what type of media we are consuming, and to watch it carefuly, in order to then analyse it after according to our values.

Further on talking about books, I do have a different approach. Looking into my last year readings, most of them are written by woman, concerning principle females characters. I am aware this is my persoanl situation, and as much as I would love everyone to be like that, I know the reality is quite different. Woman read more, but earn so much less. The Men-Women Split in Reading is Real and we can not ignore it:

With this the economic transcript of the editorial world is a mess to analyse; it is completely traversed by the ultimate expression of patriarchy.

Comparing gender discrimination and inequality in indie and traditional publishing is a really good essay to get into if you are interesed in this topic.

Wrapping up this little reflection, I sometimes find myself frustrated or upseted with something I just consumed because of the little (or nule) female presence in it. Conclave is the last example I can think of, where a really amazing movie is just missing the realistic visibility of the woman characters.

But of course not everyone is perfect; I myslef am writing this essay while listening to an Elvis Presley song. They will always be incoherences between ourselves as political subjects, and our own personality; and that is completely fine, we just need to learn how to cope with it.